Misha Collins

2016

It’s currently 1:42am on Saturday, December 31st, 2016. 

When I was little, the countdown to Christmas went by in the time it took you to blink. Then before you knew it you were counting down the days until New Year, and until you had to go back to school, and that seemed to go even faster.

But I’m grown now, and the end of 2016 feels like these last few months have staggered and almost crawled to the end.

2016 will probably not be looked on fondly when people look back years from now. I can practically feel the echoing wave of collective sighs of relief when the clock ticks over around the world into the near year. To a lot of people, 2016 has felt like one long drawn out ending. We’re all holding our breath.

Good things happened; of course they always do. It can take longer to look for them sometimes. I feel like this year my photography finally took a step forward – it’s closer to where I want it to look, feel. I’m still not there (I’ll never feel quite “there”, I don’t even know where “there” is) but it definitely took a leap over the seemingly immovable static I had been feeling.

 

Osric Chau, Captain America, Vegas Cosplay Portrait, 2016

Osric Chau, Captain America, Vegas Cosplay Portrait, 2016

 

Rob Benedict, Viper Room LA, June 2016

Rob Benedict, Viper Room LA, June 2016

 

Billy Moran, Viper Room June 2016

Billy Moran, Viper Room June 2016

 

Matt Cohen, Phoenix 2016

Matt Cohen, Phoenix 2016

 

I was privileged to get to work with incredible people, to be supported by incredible people. I was able to push myself way out of my comfort zone and found I liked it; no, I loved it. Even when I hated it, even when I was scared of it, I loved it.

 

Briana Buckmaster, Seattle 2016

Briana Buckmaster, Seattle 2016

 

Matt Cohen and Osric Chau, Phoenix 2016

Matt Cohen and Osric Chau, Phoenix 2016

 

Makayla, September 2016

Makayla, September 2016

 

Rob Benedict and Richard Speight Jr, Seattle 2016

Rob Benedict and Richard Speight Jr, Seattle 2016

 

OsVan16-1676wm

Osric, Vancouver 2016

 

Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles, Sunday, VanCon 2016

Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles, Sunday, VanCon 2016

 

Kim Rhodes and Rob Benedict, PhxCon 2016

Kim Rhodes and Rob Benedict, PhxCon 2016

 

Angie and Brooke, October 2016

Angie and Brooke, October 2016

 

Osric Chau, Phoenix 2016

Osric Chau, Phoenix 2016

 

Jared Padalecki, Misha Collins, Jensen Ackles PhxCon 2016

Jared Padalecki, Misha Collins, Jensen Ackles PhxCon 2016

 

Ruth Connell, SFCon 2016

Ruth Connell, SFCon 2016

 

Danielle, October 2016

Danielle, October 2016

 

2016 firmly cemented in my mind that portraiture is where my heart and soul is; it’s where I feel strongest, where I feel the most afraid, where I feel the most exhilarated. I was so, so fortunate I had such a wealth of amazing people that helped cement that for me.

 

Misha Collins, Vancouver 2016

Misha Collins, Vancouver 2016

 

Kat, LA 2016 Makeup by Vic Righthand

Kat, LA 2016
Makeup by Vic Righthand

 

Kim Rhodes, LA 2016 Makeup by Vic Righthand

Kim Rhodes, LA 2016
Makeup by Vic Righthand

 

Timothy Omundson, LA 2016

Timothy Omundson, LA 2016

 

Rob Benedict, LA 2016

Rob Benedict, LA 2016

 

But 2016 was an ending for me too. I don’t know what the future will bring, and it was an ending for me thinking that if I just sit back and be patient enough things will happen. I have to stop thinking that way. I need to become proactive and make things happen. Patience is a virtue, but so is passion and movement and action. If I really want this as much as I claim I do, I need to go out and get it.

I don’t know how.

I’m scared.

I will still tell myself I’m not good enough.

But I won’t listen anymore.

It’s now 2:22am, Saturday December 31, 2016. I’ll go to bed, wake up, and it will be the last day of this crazy, unrepeatable year.

Goodbye, 2016.

Hello, 2017. 

231/365

231/365

231/365

 

This is Misha Collins. You’ve heard me talk about him before. He’s pretty much changed my life and I owe a lot to him.

He turns 40 tomorrow (20th of August) and I’ll be on a plane to go over and take photos at the Vancouver convention. So I’m using my photo for the day to say thank you, Misha. I’ll see you soon.

Misha Collins

I’ve wanted to write a post about Misha Collins for a while, but I didn’t really know how to do it. He will probably never read it, but I still felt unsure about writing it. Despite his snarky persona, he’s like most people – very shy and humble and can’t quite see what all the fuss is about himself.

But today’s episode of Supernatural that aired was the first he had directed, and it was a pretty big deal. People from all over livetweeted both the East and West coast feeds of the show, and many celebs and co-stars hopped on the bandwagon to lend their support – Orlando Jones, Osric Chau, Mark Sheppard, Alaina Huffman, even William Shatner.

People from different countries were joining in, tweeting furiously in the hopes to get his episode trending in record numbers. Even with the time difference I wanted to be there, because it was such a big deal for him.

He’s someone who only knows me from seeing me at (quite a few) conventions, but every time his quirky enthusiasm and encouragement of my photography resonates with me so much. I’m just one of so many people who line up to meet him, and speak to him for a few minutes and he probably forgets about me the minute I leave his sight, but I always walk away feeling renewed. Maybe the affection grows from photographing him quite a lot over the span of a year. You get to “see” a person through a lens.

1398029_10151846328653106_359786684_oHe’s not my only reason for being, and he’s not the only reason I do all this. But to know that someone I admire so much thinks me capable of doing it? That’s a huge thing. That stops me from giving up when it feels like too much.

The last time I saw him, a couple of weeks ago, I had him sign my camera strap. He didn’t really say anything, and neither did I, but he signed it so carefully and took so much time doing it that I think he understood what it meant. I hope he did.

strap-2581So today it was my turn, to be a sort of silent cheerleader for someone who has come to mean a lot to me.