2016

It’s currently 1:42am on Saturday, December 31st, 2016. 

When I was little, the countdown to Christmas went by in the time it took you to blink. Then before you knew it you were counting down the days until New Year, and until you had to go back to school, and that seemed to go even faster.

But I’m grown now, and the end of 2016 feels like these last few months have staggered and almost crawled to the end.

2016 will probably not be looked on fondly when people look back years from now. I can practically feel the echoing wave of collective sighs of relief when the clock ticks over around the world into the near year. To a lot of people, 2016 has felt like one long drawn out ending. We’re all holding our breath.

Good things happened; of course they always do. It can take longer to look for them sometimes. I feel like this year my photography finally took a step forward – it’s closer to where I want it to look, feel. I’m still not there (I’ll never feel quite “there”, I don’t even know where “there” is) but it definitely took a leap over the seemingly immovable static I had been feeling.

 

Osric Chau, Captain America, Vegas Cosplay Portrait, 2016

 

Rob Benedict, Viper Room LA, June 2016

 

Billy Moran, Viper Room June 2016

 

Matt Cohen, Phoenix 2016

 

I was privileged to get to work with incredible people, to be supported by incredible people. I was able to push myself way out of my comfort zone and found I liked it; no, I loved it. Even when I hated it, even when I was scared of it, I loved it.

 

Briana Buckmaster, Seattle 2016

 

Matt Cohen and Osric Chau, Phoenix 2016

 

Makayla, September 2016

 

Rob Benedict and Richard Speight Jr, Seattle 2016

 

Osric, Vancouver 2016

 

Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles, Sunday, VanCon 2016

 

Kim Rhodes and Rob Benedict, PhxCon 2016

 

Angie and Brooke, October 2016

 

Osric Chau, Phoenix 2016

 

Jared Padalecki, Misha Collins, Jensen Ackles PhxCon 2016

 

Ruth Connell, SFCon 2016

 

Danielle, October 2016

 

2016 firmly cemented in my mind that portraiture is where my heart and soul is; it’s where I feel strongest, where I feel the most afraid, where I feel the most exhilarated. I was so, so fortunate I had such a wealth of amazing people that helped cement that for me.

 

Misha Collins, Vancouver 2016

 

Kat, LA 2016
Makeup by Vic Righthand

 

Kim Rhodes, LA 2016
Makeup by Vic Righthand

 

Timothy Omundson, LA 2016

 

Rob Benedict, LA 2016

 

But 2016 was an ending for me too. I don’t know what the future will bring, and it was an ending for me thinking that if I just sit back and be patient enough things will happen. I have to stop thinking that way. I need to become proactive and make things happen. Patience is a virtue, but so is passion and movement and action. If I really want this as much as I claim I do, I need to go out and get it.

I don’t know how.

I’m scared.

I will still tell myself I’m not good enough.

But I won’t listen anymore.

It’s now 2:22am, Saturday December 31, 2016. I’ll go to bed, wake up, and it will be the last day of this crazy, unrepeatable year.

Goodbye, 2016.

Hello, 2017. 

SinCon 2014

The Convention year kicked off with a bang on the weekend, with Salute to Supernatural Las Vegas 2014, or as we like to call it, SinCon 2014.

Everything is bigger and bolder in Vegas, and the Supernatural conventions are no exception. This year, as well as having the infamous Elastic Waste Band as the official houseband and Richard Speight Jr as Host, the con was going to be run over four days. And it was four jam-packed days, with panels, talent shows, costume contests, photo ops, autographs, a special “Lounge Lizards” themed Karaoke Kings show and even a concert by Louden Swain.

I get exhausted just remembering it and writing it down.

I was really looking forward to the Louden Swain concert on Thursday night. It was the first concert back for Rob Benedict and the band, and they were playing songs from their new album Sky Alive. It was such an amazing show and I felt so lucky to be able to capture it. I think I am most proud of these concert photos than of any photos I have ever taken.

Rob Benedict and Louden Swain

Rob Benedict

The Karaoke Kings Richard Speight Jr and Matt Cohen were back with a special Vegas-only themed Karaoke party, “Lounge Lizards”. As you can expect, they didn’t disappoint and oozed rat pack (Dick and Matt-Pack?) style.

Richard Speight Jr, Karaoke King and Convention Host

The scheduling in Vegas was very different. Saturday was a huge day – the two “headliner” panels were on the same day. First up was Misha Collins, who was as funny and warm as ever (you’ve heard me talk about him, you don’t need me to elaborate, I’m sure)

Misha Collins

Then it was the Js – Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles. Having the house band on stage seemed to loosen the guys up and the panel was frenetic – funny and loud and bawdy – probably one of the best I have ever seen them do!

Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles

The four days were exhausting, and by then end of it I was actually sick and missed photographing a few panels, which really disappointed me. But I have to learn to let it go and just be happy with what I have. I decided to edit with a mixture of black and white and colour this time around – the concert, karaoke and cabaret seemed to suit a dark, inky black and white while the panels are sort of a matte colour.

I was wondering as I was editing whether doing the 365 Project has influenced my shooting at a convention and I think it has. I felt more confident going into it, and when I was there I was very focused. When I get home I’m still fighting those feelings of “I hate everything I do, I haven’t got anything to work with”. I doubt that’s ever going to go away completely but I just have to take a step back and breathe and then look over what I’ve got again.

These photos are all a window into what I saw and felt and experienced during the weekend. It was beautiful and bold and intense and emotional and if I can give even the smallest amount of that feeling to someone looking at the photos I’ll be happy.

 

Jensen

Jensen Ackles, Salute to Supernatural Burbank 2013

Stardust and Melancholy and Fudge

Richard Speight Jr: You have the longest website name. Where did it come from?

Me: Well…*feeling silly* we are all apparently made of stardust, and I think I’m made of stardust and melancholy.

Richard Speight Jr: *looks thoughtful, signs my photo*

It’s definitely one of my favourites.

New Look!

I’m sorry it’s been a while since I have updated you all. But as you can see, I’ve been busily changing some things around here!

Firstly, I have changed my logo/watermark.

My old watermark was kind of hastily put together, so I didn’t quite realise how difficult it would be to create a new one. It has to encapsulate so much – it has to reflect my style (which I’m still finding myself) and it has to be identifiable but not too “showy” as it will be on all my photos. I actually put a few samples up on my private facebook and asked my friends and family what they thought, and it was really interesting hearing their differing opinions about not only what the logo should look like, but how they “saw” Stardust and Melancholy itself. They are two quite difficult words; strong and yet feminine and whimsical and a bit raw. I guess that’s ultimately what I would like my photography to be, but I have a really long way to go yet!

To go with the changes to my logo I decided my blog layout needed an overhaul.

I also changed the layout to my portfolio website – gone is the flash slideshow on the landing page, and I had to go through each gallery to make sure any embedded watermarks were taken out. It took ages!

And lastly, I even changed the tumblr layout and my twitter layout! I’ve always heard that all the different aspects should kind of remain uniform, or at least have a common theme. So if I was changing one thing, I decided I should change it all.

I am not a web coder by ANY stretch of the imagination, and I only studied graphic design for a laughably short amount of time, so I apologise if there are any kinks anywhere while it’s still all new. It also probably took me a lot longer than it should have, but at least it’s all done now!

Thank you for being so patient with me, and I hope to have more to update you all with soon!